10 Things I Wish You Would Stop Doing

It is day 19 of #UgBlogMonth and today we have been given a platform to rant, the task is to share things I wish people stopped doing. I set up a committee of inquiry and these ideas are a summation of the shared things people wish would stop being done.

1. Saying YES when you mean NO

Most people silently suffer emotional trauma for tolerating things they are not okay with just to belong, to be accepted and to be included. Unfortunately this has no age limit, it is a value we have to learn over and over because this test will keep coming in different forms.

If you have to pretend around people just to fit in and you claim these are your friends, allow me break it to you, they are not your friends! You are better off alone and at peace with your inner person than in a crowd battling self condemnation.

2. Asking people when they will marry/get married and when they will have children

If you fall in this category of people, this is my response to you: Mind your business!

Marriage is good I have nothing against it but I wish people would stop taking it like it is the sole reason for one’s existence and after this then life stops. And, that if you are not married then something is wrong with you.

Now for those who have managed to get married, the next question starts, when will you have children?

My response: Why are you asking, do you plan to feed these children or contribute a penny to their being?

People are struggling differently or better still they are doing thngs their way and you have no right to dictate how they should or shouldn’t live their lives. This is being insensitive, rude, disrespectful and it should stop.

3. Taking kindness for granted

I have seen people take advantage of someone’s kindness and this person’s argument for enabling this behavior is , ‘they are people you just keep doing good and let God deal with them, I only play my part.’

I am a God fearing woman and I love his people and are kind but should any of these, irrespective of your position in my life abuse it, I will warn you first and next I will throw you outside and love you from there. I have grown to close this door and be okay with it, it is called guarding my space.

I am privileged to be mentored and fathered by a great man, Dr. Dennis Sempebwa and he constantly reminds me that you teach people how to treat you.

4. Being careless with words

I know we all have freedom of speech and are entitled to our opinions but be sure to taste your words before you spit them out and to considerably exercise your freedom.

This also goes for parents, bosses, teachers, spouses and the like, some people struggling with self esteem today because of words someone in authority or even a peer said to them.

Stop throwing around words like; you are not good enough, you will never amount to anything, you are worthless, you are not like so and so etc.

There is a  whole lot of brokenness stemming from these seeds, if everyone played their part in their space of influence, we would save the world much pain and strife.

The tongue is such a small part of the body but it has power to cripple even the strongest of men. Control it, speak life and positivity into people’s lives but if you have nothing good to say and/or cannot communicate it without causing damage, then just shut up.

Also, some people do not want to be reminded about their weight and ‘you have gained weight‘ whether in statement or question form is not a greeting, stop it!!

5. Complicating life

Surely if this lock-down has taught you anything, it should be what really matters in life – for a human being. I think this is God, family and love, everything else we do, like the President said is to to feed this that matters the most.

Simplicity is freedom, duplicity is bondage.

We live in a modern world and are affected by its fracture and fragmented state. We are trapped in a maze of competing attachments. One moment we make decisions out of fear of what others will think of us, another moment it is out of what we know is right.

We have no unity or focus around which our lives are oriented.We crave things we neither need nor enjoy. We buy things we do not want to impress people we do not like. Where planned obsolescence leaves off, psychological obsolescence takes over. We are made to feel ashamed to wear clothes or drive cars until they are worn out…

Richard J. Foster

I hope we step out into the much anticipated freedom from this lockdown really free from within and embrace simplicity.

Conformity to a sick society is to be sick.

6. Entitlement

Entitlement according to Psychology today is a natural expression of fundamental drives. Whenever something physiological or emotional goes off kilter, we spring into action.

If blood-sugar levels drop, our system releases hormones that stimulate eating. Likewise, when we’re upset or stressed, our brain motivates us to act to restore safety and calm. These reflexes “feel right” to us. 

You are in a position of power and as such, people should bow, you are the bread winner so you do as you please even if it emotionally drains your spouse, you are the one who called this whole day if he doesn’t call tomorrow, you won’t either and yet you keep staring at the phone hoping s/he calls.

Maybe, emotional maturity is the solution here but be wisdom should apply too.

7. Borrowing things and not returning them or taking things without the owner’s consent

Some people really abuse friendship, but this also happens in our families. Do not take the fact that so and so is your friend ans so are at liberty to pick anything from their house without asking.

If you must do so in their absence, make a call and ask. It is just out of respect and please remember to return it in the same form/shape you found it.

If you borrowed someone’s book for example, make it a point to return it.

8. Borrowing cars for showbiz

Do not, I repeat do not borrow that car unless you really really need it and are not planning to show off instead or prove a point.

When you borrow it, remember to first ask the owner what gas stations they prefer/use, taking your friends/parent’s car to funny gas stations and spoiling their engines consequently is not cool.

Should you knock or be knocked, be responsible enough to make the repairs or inform the owner but do not just drop and run. It is polite to bring it back with some fuel in the tank.

9. Throwing rubbish out of your cars/taxis and spitting in public!!

10. ‘Bonus Track’

Dear boyfriends, husbands after she has fallen for your charm, don’t put her on a shelf like a trophy won, keep dating her. Keep buying her those flowers, those little little things keep the passion alive otherwise sibilungi… I am done here!

Special appreciation to Leah the Cushite and Yonah Aristotle

I am the sparrow.