Down Memory Lane: First Wedding Anniversary

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Howdy!

I thought and planned to write about birth order and its impact on your personality and relationships this Tuesday but since part of the reasons I write is to remember, I share some images from my wedding last year and bits of what it was like during the planning ie what we expected vs. reality and what this year has been like for me in brief.

We shall do that birth order thing next week okay?


So it all started with the dimple…next, he proposed and we found ourselves somewhere planning a wedding!!

I am not all pomp, I prefer privacy as long two consenting adults agree on the wrong walk to freedom everyone else will be fine. So I was for a civil wedding and he said his parents could not hear of that, church wedding it was.

We sat down and agreed to have a total number of 100 guests shared on both ends, 50/50. Meanwhile, all this time we have not informed the parents. We are in our own bubble. We would later host about 250-300 people and the biggest percentage was the parents’ list. I had just 10 slots for friends, just 10!

I am the first daughter, my parents had no clue where to start from! The story of Aunties is for another day so this ‘go to auntie so and so to guide you‘ was not an option. My perfectionist Dad was going crazy and having sleepless nights, making a thousand calls to a million people asking how this is done culturally.

My dear grandmother remembers how things were done many centuries ago but this is a whole new era, the stress came down to me. Today we would agree on this the next day they say NO! Change of plans so and so advised us to do this…I was running mad!!

All this time I am thinking civil would have saved me all this strife, I need somewhere to direct my frustration and you know the victim, the poor guy was also struggling on his end!

I am a Munyankole by tribe from Mbarara district. That is the western part of Uganda. In my culture we do four functions, the initial one is Kugamba Obugyenyi where the parents and elders of the man’s clan come to meet those of the woman at her parents’ home or any other place they decide.

The next is the introduction where the people of the man officially meet those of the woman and this includes all family, friends, etc. Lately, this is combined with the third event which is the give-away ceremony. Here the parents of the girl officially hand her over to the parents of the man.

Here they agree on the bride price and set a day for the next functions.

The final one is the wedding...we all know what happens here so skip next.

I honestly feel that this is so much trouble and overrated like I got married four times. By the fourth and final round I was done and on pilot mode. Anyone else felt this way?

We were just getting out of the first lockdown when the introduction and giveaway happened. It was that period when opposition Presidential candidate, Bobi Wine was arrested and people were rioting in the country.

I was in a saloon in town when the first bullets went off and buildings were closed. I was closed in, my parents didn’t know I was in town. They would have fainted! We were supposed to also pick bridal clothes and accessories on the same day.

It was a miracle that we got what we got! I will never forget this day, everything happened so fast. Thankfully I got back home safe and the function venue was a walk away from my then place- I miss my house!!

On the 19th of November 2020 the D-day. Roads were closed off people were still rioting and there was a lot of tension everywhere. I thought to myself, okay Joy this is it! The groom and his team have nowhere to pass, their root to the venue was cut off, who is going to show up amidst this tension?!

They got me a bodyguard! For real I had a VVIP trained and armed bodyguard, I have never felt weird in my life!

The lady was old enough to be my mum, very graceful, and only spoke when spoken to and she moved where I moved running ahead to check my room before I entered and only people with ‘credentials‘ could access me.

Thankfully I have watched enough violent movies, the lady did not look anywhere near her designation. She was dressed up in cultural clothes like anyone. She is a great defensive driver am told and this made me wish I was her just for that part.

Can she throw round kicks and somersault? I wondered…

I am thankful to God that amidst the chaos the event was a success and can’t thank my friends, family enough for braving it all just for me.

I am also thankful to Jackie of Stressfree and Serene Events for showing up when she did and saving the day! My dear Fatimah of Audrey’s Events Ltd also showed up last minute and decorated the place the best way she could- God sent!

Side Note: One guy showed up and convinced my Dad that he knows the best decorators in town and at a good price, the man couldn’t be located two days before the event- pressure!

By 21.11.2020, my wedding day I had had it! I was looking forward to the end of all this drama and when I finally kicked my shoes off that night I praised the Lord! I am never ever ever going back hahaha.

To take you back to preparations a bit, my friends kept asking what my dream wedding was like, the dress, the deco, etc and I honestly never had that dream. They asked me which kind of gown I had always dreamt of, I had none and just went with the second option.

I actually first picked a round dress gown of sorts and they quickly put it back! lol, She said ballroom and argued that it was a one-off. It fit, they all said wooow! Oh great, this is done. Onto the next one…

They said every little girl has that dream. My little girl has been gone for as long as I can remember really but I am working towards finding her.

My dream is and had always been a marriage I and the children feel safe in, a place to run to not away from, and where loud laughter, love, music, and God reside.

Am I the only girl with such a weirdness or there are others out there, group hug anyone?

Current Situation:

Yesterday my husband came back with a cold. I had just put the baby to bed and was looking forward to that uninterrupted one-hour me-time as usual. As soon as he entered the bedroom I heard…aaachu! and next...waaaaah wwwaaaah.

I pretended to not hear her cry because mommy needs a break. Many seconds later Daddio covered himself up in a baby cloth and picked her up. Guilt had the better part of me and as soon as I held her, he grabbed a blankie and happily went for the couch.

When I came to pick my book from the dining table, he had all tucked himself in and said he was finally happy to sleep in complete darkness! I on the other hand was excited to reduce the dim light in the bedroom by a huge margin.

Well, tonight he is still sneezing so you know whatsap!

Thankful to Daddio for;

  • Backing out the car all the time because diagonal reversing or parking in general is not for me
  • Changing diapers and bathing/dressing up the girls
  • Providing/taking good care of us
  • Supporting me and all my scary dreams
  • Loving me the way you know how to…

Happy anniversary! May the journey be kind to us as we climb on and may grace abound!


I write to remember,

I am the Sparrow.

17 thoughts on “Down Memory Lane: First Wedding Anniversary

  1. This is beautiful walk down memory lane. Your pictures are so beautiful we wouldn’t know the story unless told heheh.

    Ps; you not the only wierd one out there. Makes two of us, very unmarried and no dreams of a what kind of gown or anything hehe.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Talking about girls with no dream wedding dresses? Well I said itโ€™s just a dress and no I was not ready for the verbal bash I got
    But also letโ€™s agree sometimes the fuss that comes with 4parts of one function is uncalled for

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have never seen such beauty in my life. You looked poised, elegant, sassy amd sophisticated that you already are. You are so beautiful sissy. Ohh and the dresses ohhh Lord. I can’t keep browsing on them.

    And the way you look at your husband….wuuuphhh that’s beautiful. I want to get married as in yesterday

    Like

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