Do It Afraid and Beware of The Imposter Syndrome

Howdy!

Another Tuesday has dawned! Welcome back and I pray you had a lovely week. If it wasn’t, sorry about that and I hope this new one is kind to you 🙂 🙂

Last Tuesday we talked about five things that make us unique as individuals and why we should embrace this uniqueness as what makes us who we are, this is what tells our story rather than run away from it because we desire to be like others or whatever fears hold us back from being ourselves and fully functioning in that capacity.

If you missed that blog no worries. You can find it here

I was privileged to land on a circle of great women around the globe who share an interest in women/girl child empowerment (not that the boy child is any less important or deserving…). I am training in this space as a mentor and today I share with you two things I took away from the first class or better still I am writing to remember.

Normalize Fear

Pexels.com

Often I have been told to BE FEARLESS and I have taught myself to do the same thing or so I thought. This lady came out and said she would like to dress this FEARLESS thing differently and this is how she painted it. I paraphrase;

Let us learn to NORMALISE fear. It is always going to be there as you make decisions daily, you doubt yourself, you compare yourself etc. We need to learn to look it in the eyes and acknowledge that it is there and then do whatever it is we afraid of anyway. DO IT AFRAID!

Stella Kivila

When she said this, I asked myself if I had been truly fearless for each time I walked on thin lines or took live bullets. The answer is, I was wobbly even spaghettis can’t compare!

I have walked away from a job of my dreams because at a certain age you stop working for the thrill of it and money is a necessity. Bills have to be paid but a fully grown adult looks at you and tells you you are serving God and that there is no money and they expect you to keep delivering even after going months of no pay.

I did have a meeting with myself and we all agreed that even though there is no fall back net we are quitting because this is not working. Days later I would meet another ‘respectable’ human or humans who would offer jobs but set meeting appointments in hotel rooms or behind closed doors of their offices and expect me to ‘do the needful’…

These are things we experience on our paths everyday, it is not okay. It is not normal and I know that while I have had a chance to walk away or not show up for those who had the guts to give out details of the meetings, some have not and they live with these wounds/scars.

In all these moments, my heart was in my hands with all kinds of emotions and fear was always present. I was not fearless.

I did it afraid and I still find myself in different places where I have to make choices and I still have to do the same. I know now that Stella’s dressing of fear fits perfectly and I relate better with it.

The Bible is sometimes brutal. Look at what it has to say about adversity;

If you fall to pieces in a crisis, there wasn’t much to you in the first place.

Psalms 24:9 (MSG Bible)

If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.

Psalms 24:9 (KJV)

I hear people say “you are strong” either to me or to others. I say the same to other people too. But I think that it is not about being strong, there is no other option available. You have to do what you have to do!

When adversity hits and sure it does visit every human being. I find myself numb and functioing in auto pilot like my system shuts down. I have been told that I seem to be more in control and on top of things because I am not breaking down or locked up somewhere.

Truth is I have never been more out of control than when I paint a picture of I am in control. I keep whispering and groaning in my spirit for help because I know that anytime I am crashing to pieces.

Thankfully every time I have said my feet are slipping Lord, my strength is failing me. His love has supported me and upheld me. There is always more than meets the eye.

Know Your WHY

For anything you choose to do in life, always always remember your WHY because life will present you with all kinds of distractions at every point. You are the only one who knows your why and this will be your greatest motivator to finish the race.

Stella Kivila

She argues that this is why most people start and never finish.

Is there anything you have set out to do recently or even awhile ago but failed to finish or you have no idea what happened along the way?

Could it be that you forgot your WHY? It is never too late to start all over again and I am convinced that you can always finish your race.

If you find yourself stuck midway then reinvent yourself over and over but do not settle at that point of redundancy and watch your life drift away.

That is how I cope, how about you?

Sometimes we are hindered by the Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome, also called perceived fraudulence, involves feelings of self-doubt and personal incompetence that persist despite your education, experience, and accomplishments.

HealthLine

No matter how much evidence there is that we’re successfully navigating our lives, jobs and relationships, many of us hold false beliefs that we aren’t actually as capable or smart as others think we are. This is called imposter syndrome, or imposter phenomenon.

It isn’t a diagnosis or a medical problem but rather a pattern of thinking that can lead to self-doubt, negative self-talk and missed opportunities.

What it feels like

Imposter feelings represent a conflict between your own self-perception and the way others perceive you.

Even as others praise your talents, you write off your successes to timing and good luck. You don’t believe you earned them on your own merits, and you fear others will eventually realize the same thing.

Consequently, you pressure yourself to work harder in order to:

  • keep others from recognizing your shortcomings or failures
  • become worthy of roles you believe you don’t deserve
  • make up for what you consider your lack of intelligence
  • ease feelings of guilt over “tricking” people

Read more about Imposter Syndrome here and here

I hope you keep getting up and doing things afraid, find your why in life and never lose sight of it.


Till next Tuesday,

I am the Sparrow.

3 thoughts on “Do It Afraid and Beware of The Imposter Syndrome

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